Craig's Love & Let Spy Series (Book One, Who's That Earl)

 

Who’s That Earl (Love and Let Spy, Book One)

Susanna Craig

Stars:  A solid ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (great characters, fun story, witty dialogue, DOGS, General Scott is the GOAT, there's a villain, there is mystery, SCOTLAND)          

Heat rating:  🔥🔥🔥🔥 (I’m still working on the rating system, and will add more to the SEX-AND-SPOILERS section.)

I love Susanna Craig. I’ve read all her books. I like this one a lot and would read it again, which is a huge tell for me. One small thing—I hate the cover. The picture really looks like her arms are on backwards and gives me a The Ring-type vibe whenever I see it. Actually it looks like her head is on backwards, which gives me a Beetlejuice vibe. But I don’t read books for cover art.

So, time to focus and tell you about WHO'S THAT EARL . . . (you knew those ellipses were coming, didn't you?)

Here's our hero! Lieutenant Thomas Sutherland. I liked him from the first page. It starts out with him being lulled into complacency by . . . night-blooming jasmine. Okay, so let me tell you this—I have a thing for night-blooming jasmine. It all goes back to when Niles and Daphne had their first real kiss on Frasier in the episode Something Borrowed, Someone Blue, Part 2. Niles talks about night-blooming jasmine before she grabs him and lays lips on him. That kiss made me yell in delight. (Note: I love Niles and Daphne.) Damn, distracted already . . . SQUIRREL! In my defense, I love Frasier.

Back to Dominica and Thomas:

“Damn and blast. If he weren’t careful, he’d find himself in enemy hands after all this time. Or at the mercy of his general [General Zebadiah Scott], once he’d explained how he’d been distracted from his duties by the scent of flowers.” (page 9)*

 Excellent start to a book. Okay, I’m hooked. Proceed . . .

So Thomas is a badass. You don’t sneak up on him and you don’t get the best of him. I like him already. Oh, and he’s a sarcastic smartass. I think I’m in love. General Scott has a mysterious message for him: “Homeward, Magnus.” Uh oh. Something big is happening.

Because, just that quickly, he’s back in London, ready to meet General Scott, who I also love. General Scott is the GOAT. General Scott cares about his men. General Scott is awesome. He smokes a pipe. SC says he looks like a mischievous elf. In my head, he kind of looks like John Mahoney (may he rest in peace). John Mahoney played Martin Crane on Frasier, which works since I’ve got night-blooming jasmine and Niles and Daphne in my head. John Mahoney was also born in England. That has nothing to do with this book, but it’s a fun fact. Anyway, the General knows everything: 

“All things considered, it was not shocking to discover that the man knew how he’d spent the days after his arrival. Hell, Scott could probably name every pub he’d visited, which was more than Thomas himself could do.” (15)

So, wait! Thomas knows Jane already. But he thinks she’s probably married or gone from him forever. At the very least, he thinks she's in Sussex. And, ahhhhhh, she’s the night-blooming jasmine woman. The plot thickens. I’m intrigued. Good start. Oh, and he’s inherited an earldom; he’s Lord Magnus and he’s heading to Dunnock Castle. “It seems Magnus is one of those peculiar Scottish titles that can pass through the female line (16).” Oh, don’t get me started on Scotland. I plan to visit Scotland in 2023 if we are no longer in a pandemic. 

Anyway, it’s not that easy for our Thomas, Lord Magnus. The castle is being leased to a writer named Robin Ratliff. Guess you can already figure out that Ratliff isn’t a man and he isn’t a stranger—he’s Jane. That’s not a spoiler. It is in the book description. So put down your pitchforks. Btw, she’s also Mrs. Higginbotham to the servants at the castle. Yeah, it’s confusing.

Anyway, Chapter 2 and we meet Jane. “She’d come all the way to Scotland for crumbling stone walls and wild landscapes.” (Same, girl, same.) We also meet the housekeeper, Agnes Murdoch, who I automatically like because she’s 4’11, which is my height. Dougan is mentioned—he wears a kilt and plays the bagpipes while marching across a parapet. Hm, I guess this is Scotland. (LMAO, that might be a bit much.)

So Thomas shows up on the sneak tip and, though Agnes may be elderly, she ain’t blind: “Verra handsome he is, though (23).” So let’s finally get a look at our man:

So Thomas is tall—six feet at least, she thinks. Wavy dark brown hair and hazel eyes. (My eyes are hazel, and hazel eyes don't get the recognition they deserve. So I am fully Team Thomas Pretty Eyes.) He’s got a tan from chilling on Dominica for 7 years. He’s also got a Scottish accent (I figured that out from the liberal use of “ken” previously). He turns around and recognizes her in an instant, even though they were only together for a short time 7 years previously. I guess she's still got the nut-brown hair, plump cheeks, and blue eyes? Nut-brown hair always reminds me of "Star of the County Down," which is one of my favorite songs. SQUIRREL!

He calls her a secretary and she corrects him; she’s an amanuensis. Thank you for the integrated dictionary, Kindle, because I haven’t ever heard that word. Apparently, neither has Thomas because he thought she sneezed. Well, he was messing with her, but it made me like him even more. You know who he reminds me of? Detective John Corey from Nelson DeMille’s Plum Island. Remember I said I usually read mysteries? Plum Island is my favorite, so give it a whirl.

Anyway, since he knows who she really is and she doesn’t want anyone else to know, she pulls him away to the south tower (warning: I am a fool for towers) and once he pulls off his gloves, she’s thinking about him touching her. (Same, girl, same.)

Hold up. I didn’t introduce the dogs, did I? My bad. Athena and Aphrodite. They’re little spaniels that she rescued from some abusive POS. Jane just shot up a point. And they’re the cause of the first sexual innuendo—page 28 and we’re talking about licking—I like this book.

Okay, so what are the odds that the one woman he’s been fantasizing about for 7 years happens to be leasing the distant Scottish castle that he inherited? Near to impossible. BUT THAT IS NOT WHY WE READ ROMANCE BOOKS. Gird your loins, my friends, and SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF! (Also, General Scott is the GOAT and can make anything happen. And don’t you forget it.)

Ooops, I forgot to describe Jane. Her character is one of the reasons why I love this book. You've seen the covers of most romance novels. These people are PERFECT. Basically, every woman is like Dolly Parton's Jolene. No way that any of us look like that (especially not me with my 50-year old today self). So it's nice to have a "normal" character find love and get their freak on. (I am also a member of Team Pudgy Plain Girl, and proud of it!)

Not Jane. She's not a bombshell and it doesn't matter to Thomas:

“She could not remember ever seeing approval in anyone else’s gaze. When examining her only daughter’s appearance, Mama had been prone to purse her lips and shake her head. Papa had often frowned. Even Julia Holloway, her dearest friend, had been known to cluck with pity and call her plain.

Nothing in Jane’s experience had ever encouraged her to be any kinder to herself than others were. When she peered into her glass, she saw just what everyone else did—or so she assumed: an unfashionably plump girl with heavy brown hair that refused to hold a curl. Her blue eyes, though a pretty-enough shade, were insufficiently striking to constitute a ‘redeeming feature.’

But if Mr. Sutherland’s expression had been anything to go by—the sparkle in his own eyes, the beginnings of a smile—he saw something others didn’t.” (56)

Yep, I like our Jane. And, oh pooh, she’s been getting threatening letters (well, Ratliffe is)—and whoever is sending them seems to be getting closer to her. To the Mystery Machine, kids!

* Yeah, I know we don't need quotation marks with offset paragraphs, but, since these are the author's words and I respect them, I want to ensure everyone recognizes that she owns these words and I am just using them here to show appreciation for her work. 

QUICK UPDATE: I forgot an important part. SC was inspired by 80s shows and tells more here: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com/between-the-chapters/flashback-to-the-80s/. This book was inspired by Magnum, P.I. and OMG, yes. Tom Selleck coming out of the water is burned into my brain and turned me on to hairy chests for the rest of my life. Even the names of the characters are inspired by the show. Those of us 70s kids who grew up watching shows like this appreciate it ALL!

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Now, let’s head to the SEX-AND-SPOILERS section. Don’t read if you’re easily offended. Don’t read if you don’t want it spoiled. I warned you.

 

Seriously, don’t continue if you don’t want to hear about sex and/or you don’t want to hear about the ending. Now, here’s the thing: 99% of romance books are HEAs (happily ever afters). This ain’t Gone with the Wind with Rhett rolling out and leaving Scarlett, and we have no idea if she ever gets him back (she didn't deserve you, Rhett, baby. Find a good woman. We support you). AND we’re not discussing the “sequel” to GWTW, btw. That doesn’t exist. LALALALALA, I have my fingers in my ears so I cannot hear you. 

But anyway, these are primarily HEAs, which means H (Hero) and h (heroine) are getting together before the last page. So you know it’s coming.

The book is relatively short—200 pages or so. And SC gives us two complete sex scenes. Happy birthday, haha!

Sex

Now c’mon, romance novels are about sex, whether implied/alluded to or in living color (well, in black and white, since it’s a book). There are two full on sex scenes in this book. Yeah, they’re hot. Sometimes SC goes with euphemisms like “his shaft” and “his manhood,” but she’s not afraid to go with words like c*ck (no, I am not trying to get shut down on my first day of blogging. It ain’t much censoring, but you know what I mean). Unsurprisingly, Jane is a virgin. But Thomas is a gentleman and makes sure she gets her satisfaction first. The detail is good; no, I’m not talking about explicitness—I mean SC sets a scene that makes it easy to imagine everything, which is a necessity throughout a good book. If an author is going to spend several paragraphs describing a gown or a heath or a meal, the least they can do is be consistent when it comes to the nookie. Jus’ sayin’. And SC rises to the challenge. And then Agnes tries to break the door down in the morning. Did I mention that I love Agnes? And Thomas has to hide. Poor Thomas.  

Oh, since this is my first review, let me talk about the words authors use for pubes. The wrong word can ruin the scene. Sometimes the words will stop you in the middle of reading and make you roll your eyes. SC uses “nether curls” and that evoked a neutral response from me. I didn’t crack up laughing like some of the descriptions in other authors’ books, ruining the mood, so this was good.

Anyway, the second scene is some 50 pages later and Jane knows more about what is going on AND they’re officially in love by then. And he wants to introduce her to some new positions—Jane is down with it and he’s ready for her “womanly heat.” Yeah, I could have done without that term. Oh, and as usual, someone is pounding on the door in the morning. By now, Jane’s renting a room in town and oops, no male callers at night. The landlady ain’t pleased. But it’s fine, there’s only 20 pages left in the book.

I am working on the heat rating. Right now, I’m thinking a 0-5 rating, coldest to hottest.  

0: No sex at all. There might be some kissing.

1🔥: Alluding and innuendos. Kissing and sweetness. You’ve got to use your imagination.

2🔥🔥: Conventional and sweet. Nothing wild and crazy, and not a ton of description.

3🔥🔥🔥: It’s warmed up a lot. Author is using descriptions and it’s easier to imagine what’s going on. Might have one full scene, but it’s definitely not overly graphic. Characters are probably playing around and, sure, you're gonna hear about bodily fluids (it's natural, it's chemical, it's logical . . . RIP George Michael).

4🔥🔥🔥🔥: Hot. Two or more times. They’re open to doing many things. The author is letting it all hang out, but it’s still not the most extreme.You could call the fire department, but hot fire fighters might just make things worse . . .

5🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥: Smoking hot. You need a cold shower. They’re doing everything and you’ve got a front row seat. This is the rating where many reviewers throw out words like “gratuitous”; eh, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, I say. GRAPHIC. Proceed with caution.

Don't know if I will keep this system. We will see . . .

Some spoiler-y things

Thomas reconnects with some friends from when he used to visit the town of Balisaig. He doesn't reveal he’s the Earl when they first reconnect. They just know him as a kid they used to play with. Eleazor Ross is one. His sister, Davina, is engaged to Theo Campbell. Theo and his family added some extra interest to the book—Theo is a free black man and village blacksmith. His parents fled New York during the Revolution, ended up in Nova Scotia, and eventually made their way to Scotland on the advice of a passing Scottish fur trader. I liked the addition of Theo and his family.👍 Historical romance books can be very pale and I love good characters of color. Now for more H or h of color, please?! (I'll probably have to write my own book one day.)

There’s an Epilogue (bonus points automatically). Gives us a little more about Jane and Thomas and their family-to-be, but also takes us back to the main man, General Scott. He’s doing this on purpose—he wants his men happy and healthy, so he’s playing matchmaker. But that’s not all—he’s setting them up as loyal eyes and ears in his spy network, even if they’re “retired.”

The epilogue sets up the next book, introducing Lieutenant Hopkins and his missing package and Lady Kingston, who intercepted it. And who will General Scott send to save the world? The Magpie, Major Stanhope. 

Let's not keep you in suspense! On to book 2!!!!